NOT FOR ME...I QUIT!!!

Another day at volunteering at quilting has proved too much for me again.  I gave my 100 pieced together pieces to the lady who entrusted me with them.  As I said, my machine gave out within three pieces of the end when I picked up with my new machine.  Well, the quarter inch with my old machine, as I have been using for my own quilts, came out right, but for some reason, they were too large for this lady's quilt.  I was also given some homework which I requested, but as I started out, some of the squares she gave me to put together, were not cut the same size.  I reluctantly asked her why, because I've asked so many questions, I just feel stupid.  But she said, they were, in fact, cut wrong.  I was thoroughly confused as she cut that batch of pieces, but I did not watch her because I was told to do some thing else.  Well, when I got home, all of the other groups of squares were cut wrong also, but she did not cut them nor did I know how much to cut them.  By the way, the first group she cut were also all different sizes, because she did not cut them all.  What a mess.  THIS IS NOT FOR ME!!!!  All those pieces, different people telling me what to do.  All of these steps.  My mind just doesn't work that way.  So for the third week I came home shaking and continued shaking trying to figure out how I should proceed on all of these squares.  Should I cut them?  But then they still didn't match up with the first group of squares.  So I didn't.  I tried calling a number and e-mailing the leader of the group to try to get a phone number of the girl who gave me this project.  Neither the e-mail or phone number was right.  Do these volunteer groups make it a point so you can't contact anybody.  They have my e-mail and phone number right away, but they don't give you theirs or keep in touch with you.

The leader of the group pulled me over and showed me a picture of a quilt she said if I'd like to do.  She was willing to give me a project of my own.  I said yes, but really it was so boring and ugly I had no enthusiasm doing this quilt whatsoever.  I asked her if they would cut out all those squares (it looked like there were well over 200 of them) and she said if I'd like them to.  Evidently, she expected me to do the whole thing by myself.  A very large project.  Well, the quilt pattern was ugly and boring and just a bunch of squares to be put together with a large star in the corner which she said they'd do.  Well, if I was going to go down there to do a whole quilt by myself, I'd be doing one for me that I liked in a landscape quilt and at home, where I didn't have to schlep everything down to their meeting place.

Another thing.  This week they left at 1:00.  Last week they stayed until 5:00.  The week before we left at 12:00.  She originally told me in the beginning they would be there from 8:00 to 5:00 and I told her I wouldn't be there at 8:00.  That was too much like going to work.  I'd be there when I got there between 10:00 and 11:00.  She said that would be fine.  Then all of the hours were changing and no one letting me know.  I had to give her my e-mail address again, since she misplaced mine from the week before when she wanted it a second time.  I've had it.

I give up.

I finally sat down shaking and frustrated again, to figure out why I'm having such a terrible time doing this when I did my own quilt pillow covers and pot holders, it was a great, fun experience.  It was because without even knowing where or how to make a quilt, I did it from a book, step by step, without fifty million people giving me things to do without me knowing what the finished quilt should look like, steps to be taken, dimensions of the pieces, etc. etc..

I have, however, through a quilt guild in my area, found another group who meet at a house every other week.  There are six people who meet, bring their sewing machines and bring either their own projects or they sometimes work on one project together.  Maybe this group is more for me.  Like I said, landscape quilts or photo quilts is more my bag without cutting hundreds of mind numbing pieces and sewing them all together.

Now, how to tell them I won't be coming any more.  They've been really nice and encouraging and pretty much not everything is my fault, as they told me.  One girl said, since she's seen how things were wrong several times on their part, has gotten me very confused and shaky and frustrated and not my fault, actually apologized to me saying thank you for your patience in us and errors we had given you making you more confused and nervous and you not knowing what the project should look like or dimensions the pieces should be, etc., etc..

I know I'm not stupid, but I sure feel like it there.  There is no reason why I should go through this every week.

I QUIT!!!!!